Failure

How we handle failure defines us. Understanding how to handle failure is not the same as actually handling it. We choose to succeed or fail, before we even step into what is testing us.

There are many great quotes regarding failure and success. Examples such as "if you want to succeed, double your failure rate". "you never truly fail until you quit trying" or perhaps the most apt "you set yourself up for failure".

The choices we make determine if we succeed or fail. Embracing this and living accordingly determines how we handle failure. All very fancy talk, but what does it have to do with anything.

2 choices. Someone I know chose to handle failure in a negative way. This person decided that they deserved a certain level of accomplishment and the evaluator did not give them what they expected. This person proceeded to make it very public that they disapproved of the evaluator's ranking.

The other choice, taking responsibility. Looking at yourself and deciding what you could have done to succeed. It shouldn't even occur to us to blame the evaluator. Their job is to be impartial, to provide guidance, and to provide feedback. The effort and work we put into things determines if we pass or fail. We succeed or fail by what we do.

Make no mistake it is a choice. One can chose to take responsibility, or one can chose to blame others. What will your choice be?

Yuck

I have been wickedly sick the last few days, but have managed to drag my sorry carcass out of bed long enough to blog. Hope you have enjoyed, I am going back to bed.

Boot Camp

For those who invested in themselves and survived our annual Boot Camp...... ya done good. See you next year.

when all else fails

I sit here staring at the screen, disjointed thoughts and frustration my companions. I really hate blogging. I've no doubt that it is making a difference, as any type of discipline if good for a person. Discipline and follow through on something you dislike is especially good for you, as it takes more. More effort, more motivation, more commitment, more... well you get the idea.

I find this requirement very hard. During the week, I'll think of things that I could blog about. Sometimes funny, sometimes serious. Emotional, reserved, and everything in between. Then I sit here and try to convince myself to just start typing. One would think it easy to create an entry, taking thought and turning it into the written history of your personal existence. A place to talk to yourself or to others with out direct judgement or reproach.

Some find a certain freedom in written expression. A way to open up with out having to directly experience the reaction of others to their thoughts or feelings. To exercise their freedom of expression. I find it as pleasant as having my fingernails ripped off with pliers. (or so I would imagine).

I have made a commitment to blog, and I dig deep every week to put something up. Sometimes it's absolute nonsense, but it's not a requirement to be Shakespeare, just consistent. I can't tell you how thankful I am for that little loop hole.

We all face trials, challenges, and walls. Our own demons are no stronger or weaker to us than other's are to them. Learning to focus, continue to move forward, or just maintain the existence for one more day in spite of these conflicts can be difficult to surmount. But we are all capable. We all have something that we need to accomplish. Something that we have promised that we must find a way to deliver. Some commitment that we see through to the end. A personal goal, UBBT member or not, martial artist or not, but it is there universally to all beings.

And we do it, even when all else fails.

Sharing my toys

Apparently I'm a little territorial.... okay, so I'm a LOT territorial. Here's the poop.

I was helping teach my first SSI class yesterday, and it was all good. I had a blast working with my supervisor, and was learning as much as I was teaching. Believe it or not, I was nervous, and in true nervous style, was over explaining just a touch. Go figure. But that is another story.

We had 4 students. One of which was crapping kittens every 2 seconds as he was coming to the realization he would shortly be climbing out on the wing strut of a plane traveling 80 miles an hour, 3500 feet off the ground.
After the climb out, he would be hanging from said strut and then letting go. All because his roommate talked him into it.

We spent several hours with our four students, teaching them (literally) life saving skills and getting to know them. Working with them to prepare them for their first experience in our sport, and helping them to get over their fears. Encouraging them, ensuring learning has been achieved, testing them, and reviewing physical skills. It was a long day for all of us, and we were all getting a bit tired. They were a bit disappointed that I was not going to be their JM for their first jump, as was I. I found out later just how disappointed I was to be.

Their JM was a very good person, though she can be a bit pushy, and has no concept of stepping on other's toes. I don't think she means to do it, she just doesn't realize that there are others with equal and far greater skills to her own, and she feel the need to assert herself. She came into our class (keep in mind my supervisor has a ton more experience than either myself or the JM) and began offering opinions as to how the class should be taught, and the length of time it was taking. She is not an SSI, and only has the C1 and JM training. Vastly different animals.

So my supervisor handed the class to me and had me administer the quiz while she and the JM stepped outside. When my supervisor returned she filled me in on the situation. She was even less impressed with the situation than I was, and pulled no punches when expressing it. Kinda felt a little bad for the JM, though nothing that was said was inaccurate or undeserved.

Later on, I was walking our students out to hand them over to the JM. Man was that hard. I hung around to help them gear up. I was getting frustrated with the situation, as things were being done slightly different than I would have, and lets face it, theses are MY guys. But I kept my mouth shut and attitude in check. The last thing our students needed was a cat fight between the instructors. Especially the nervous one. I knew my place, I had handed over the students. I just couldn't seem to let go.

I was all maternal, and looking for an excuse to get into the plane with them. First class nut! but I managed to back off. I watched them come down and asked them how it went, then asked the JM how they did. I felt better when they were all back safe and was very pleased that they hung around after their jumps and got familiar with the DZ and it's people. I really hope to see them again in the future.

I guess my lesson for the weekend is that I need to work on my ability to relinquish control. Everyone has their own style, and I'm not always going to agree with it. But I do have to trust them and let them take my guys to the next step. I just don't have to like it.

Kija

I was out doing some chores tonight at the farm, when I looked up and saw my dog just chillin' under a tree. She had ridden out into the field with me in the gator, hopped off when I stopped, and found a spot she liked to keep an eye on things.

She's a first class goober, but she's got life figured out. Full tummy, warm place to sleep, people to spoil her rotten, and all for the price of perked up ears and a slightly tilted head. When she figures she hasn't gotten your full attention and it is required, one paw comes up and gets gently placed on your leg. "I'm here, love me" is what everyone else assumes she's thinking. I know it's really "Make with the cookies, I'm lookin' extra cute."

I finished what I was doing, and started the gator back up. She got up, stretched, and sauntered over to climb in. One assumes you train your dog. The reality is they train you. Go figure

Lisa Freitag

Our World is as Small as WE Make it

I live in a very small world. That world is self induced. I am not fond of people as a rule. I have been betrayed, hurt, and attacked far to many times not to be suspicious of human motivations. There is "good" in my world, but only because I am very quick to judge, and expel the "bad". My world is rigid, and my loyalty is forever. Given reason to remove loyalty, well that's forever as well. My world is black and white.

I am reasonably happy in my world, and face things that threaten my world head on. Perception of a threat is enough to cause me to lock in. I refuse to be bullied. I've taken all of that type of treatment and more than anyone should, and I'm done with it. Lets just say there is a reason I don't play well with others.

All this being said, the world is also small for it's own merits. Master Dave Mac Neil was here for a few days. He taught some seminars that were very interesting, and he brightens a room with his genuine interest in people. He was talking about a man he met on the plane ride up here. His name is Doug Spotted Eagle.

Doug is a prominent wing suit instructor. He was up here preparing for a wing suit seminar he is teaching next month. As Doug and Master Mac Neil chatted, skydiving came up. Back in the day Master Mac Neil was a diver, which is pretty cool. More cool is that both men were headed to the same town to teach something they are passionate about, and ended up having more in common than one would expect of a random traveling companion. People from different states, traveling to a different country, and having similar experiences. Small world.

It makes me think about all the people I shut out. Some I am better off with out, but others could be ones I have a common ground with. Something to think about anyway.

And Doug says "HI Dave".